10 Ways To Get Fat In 4 Weeks

10 Ways To Get Fat In 4 Weeks.

All over the net, in magazines, on the radio and on the television, there is always someone somewhere trying to give advice on how to lose weight. How to lose weight? How to lose weight fast? How to get a six pack....blah blah blah blah.

What about looking at things from the other side for once? What about all those people who dont want to lose weight? What if they want to put weight on? What if they want to get fat? What if they want a big 1 pack stella belly?

It might sound crazy, but i'm pretty sure there are girls and guys that want the 'increase' to improve their robustness. Look at darts players for example. They are all big and meaty.

So here goes. Here's the list. This will make you fat, unless you are like my mrs...who eats everything....and puts on nothing...

Oh, you have to do all of these things, everyday.

1 - Eat a McDonalds Supersize meal for lunch.
2 - Eat a full english breakfast.
3 - Drink 2 pints of beer at lunchtime.
4 - Drink 2 pints of beer at tea time.
5 - Eat an Indian meal at tea time - preferably chicken korma.
6 - Drive everywhere, DO NOT WALK.
7 - Play darts (and buy a special darts tshirt with a gold chain to go with it).
8 - Always take the lift or escalator.
9 - Always have desert. The creamier, the sugarier(brand new word), the better.
10 - Wake up at 2am, have a 3 course meal (24 hour McDonalds is good), eat, then go back to sleep.

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Modern Day Daedalus And Icarus - Yves Rossy The Flying Guy!

As a child did you dream of been able to fly? It was something that I dreamt about everyday. I still do now. I wouldnt want wings, because that would just be an awful thing to see these humongous feathery growths coming out of my back. My first thought would be - 'will radiotherapy help this'?


Storm of Xmen fame - now there's someone who flies with style.

A man today, nearly turned this into reality. Yves Rossy, a chap from Switzerland made this amazing 'kick bum' rocket device which he strapped to his back....

Then Yves Rossy (who sounds like a lovely red wine BTW) jumps out of this plane at about 6000 feet, freefalls for a bit....and then starts....yep...he starts....FFFLLLLYING!

NOW THATS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! FLYING - FLYING LIKE SUPERMAN. FLYING LIKE A SUPERHERO. YEAH YEAH. LIKE ICARUS.

Daedalus and Icarus.....I love that story!

The thing is...he didnt make it...so....really...he lost. But in my books he's pretty damn cool. He fell like Icarus - into the sea!

He didnt fly to close to the sun and melt the wax. I bet he suffered from something I suffer from time to time - its called ROOP.

Run Out Of Petrol!

Down you go Yves. And like my old Speak and Spell used to tell......

"TRY AGAIN!"

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Does Your Computer Have Swine Flu?

For the past few weeks, my computer has been acting in a way that makes me thinks it has the dreaded Swine Flu.

When I push the power button, it hums...and after 10 minutes decides to respond.

The CPU rating in task manager is ALWAYS at 100% - High fever? Yep.

So my computer was dying of Swine Flu. I dont know how the it got it because neither me or the Queen have it.

So how did I get rid of it? How would anyone get rid of computer swine flu? Well, you cant give him Tamiflu...and Calpol???? Well...thats for kids! It tastes great all the same - some people spread Calpol on bread! If times get hard - i'd rather use disgustingmite

So here is what I did - this might work for you give it a try because it works wonders and your little bundle of electronic joy will be singing sweetly once more...

...download this piece of software called Spybot search and destroy.

It cured our lads'(a computer is always a boy, like a car is always a girl) ailments in no time.

The software itself is designed to find and eliminate from your system malware, spyware, trojans and ads. This is the stuff thats on your system, and in most cases, giving your system a high Swine Flu like fever.

Try it out and let me know if the cure helped! Let me know if it didnt.

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